The Blame Game

8 Sep

He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey.
He who blames himself is halfway there.
He who blames no one has arrived.
~ Chinese proverb

The blame game is something in which we all get involved to a greater or lesser degree throughout our lives.  We blame other people, we blame external factors, we blame negative experiences all so that we do not have to take a good hard look at ourselves and access why it was that we acted the way we did, thought the way we thought or chose the way we chose.  We somehow think that blaming will absolve us from any kind of guilt for our words or actions as well as for our failures to speak or act.

However, every time we blame, even if it is to blame ourselves, we miss the opportunity to learn from whatever happened.  Our desire to blame shifts the focus away from our selves and our need to learn from our experiences.  Instead,  when we engage in blame, we are more likely to repeat whatever it was we did wrong.

I truly believe that is why the proverb finishes with stating, “he who blames no one has arrived.”  Instead of blaming others or self, that person is engaged in learning from his or her mistakes and ensuring that they will never happen again.  Blaming is a sign of weakness, taking responsibility is a sign of strength.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to see someone take responsibility for her or her actions?  Instead of conflict, there would be an apology and a desire to do better.  Instead of casting blame, there would be an opportunity for both parties to grow.

Blaming others or self hurts feelings and inhibits reconciliation or growth.  Taking responsibility is nothing but positive.  How positive will you be today?

FAITH ACTION:  Ask God to give you the grace not to blame yourself; but, rather, to learn from your good as well as not-so-good experiences.